A Special Kind of Clueless
by Kethrielle
Summary: Everyone flirts with Shepard. She doesn't notice; she only has eyes for Vega. What's a marine to do? Written by request.


**_Written for Vulpixar. The request was for a story about Shepard being clueless abot her crew hitting on her. Vulpixar sent lots of good suggestions, and the one that made everything come together: Vega as the LI. Again, this is what passes for 'short' around here. Enjoy!_**

* * *

"I have a new assignment for you, Lieutenant. It may not be glamorous, but it's very important, and I think you're the best man for the job."

"I'm ready for anything, Admiral. Just tell me where to go."

"The Admiralty board has placed Commander Shepard under house arrest while they sort through the information she's provided about her recent missions. It's nonsense, but they have to do something to keep the batarians off our backs. I've assigned you to be her guard. Keep an eye on her, keep her from going stir crazy. And let me know if she needs anything."

Vega sighed. _Guard duty. Great._

"Yes sir, Admiral Anderson."

….

Four months later, this was Vega's favorite posting. Shepard was good company - and easy on the eyes. He'd spent more time with her in the last four months than he had ever spent with someone outside his family.

He joined her for meals, they sparred together, he usually sat around her quarters in the evenings. They traded combat stories, childhood memories, and tall tales. They exchanged insults and jabs, liberally interspersed with flirting. Shepard was the most interesting woman he'd ever met, and the most frustrating.

Four months, and they hadn't progressed beyond casual flirting. She let him call her Lola; she made sardonic but complimentary comments about his physique; she'd told him he was cute. She certainly wasn't shy about contact during their sparring sessions, and she wasn't uncomfortable with him personally. He didn't understand what was wrong. She still acted like they were just friends. Was she really that disinterested in him? He wasn't exactly subtle, surely she knew that he wanted a relationship with her.

He was ready to take matters into his own hands. He wouldn't normally have hesitated, but this was _Commander Shepard_, surely she liked to in control? But maybe not, maybe he'd misread the situation and she was waiting impatiently for him to make the next move. Well, now he was going to.

After dinner, they played a few hands of cards. When it got to about the time he usually left for the night, Vega gathered the cards and put them away, sliding the deck into a pocket in his fatigues. Shepard stood, as she always did, to walk him to the door with her usual farewells. At the door, Vega stopped and turned to her.

"There was one more thing, Commander."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What is it?"

Vega took the two steps necessary to close the distance between them, and kissed her.

Shepard froze in shock and Vega immediately started panicking. Had he misread the signs? Was she really not interested in him? But before he could pull away, Shepard relaxed and kissed him back. Resisting the urge to heave a sigh of relief, Vega let one hand come to rest lightly on her waist and brought his other hand up to hold the back of her head.

When they finally parted, he looked at her with a smug smile, and found her staring at him in surprise. When he leaned forward to kiss her again, she smiled and met him halfway.

The next two months passed a lot more quickly than the previous four had; a lot more pleasantly, too. So it was hardly any surprise that by the time the reapers hit Earth, Vega had completely forgotten that surprised look on Shepard's face, and all the frustration caused by her apparent obliviousness that had gone before it.

….

Now that they were back on board the Normandy, that memory was being forcefully recalled. For the life of him, Vega couldn't decide if Shepard was a tease, if she thought their relationship was casual, or if she was really just that clueless. He was about ready to jump ship from the frustration, though.

First, there had been Major Alenko. He seemed to flip back and forth between possessive and accusatory. Alenko fell in behind Shepard while barely affording Vega a glance, his posture clearly stating that he owned the position on Shepard's six; the next minute he was doubting Shepard's integrity.

Vega had been about ready to punch the man himself, and probably would have if he'd had to go the entire mission listening to that nonsense. But Shepard sent him back to the shuttle when the asari showed up.

The asari. There was another one. When T'Soni looked at Shepard, the longing in her eyes was clear. She doled out information in careful pieces designed to keep her listeners hanging on her every word, all while speaking in a smug, caressing tone that grated on Vega's nerves.

When Shepard told him to go back to the shuttle, he was furious. He was about to argue with her, when he felt the casual glide of her armored fingers against his forearm. He looked down at her and his mouth snapped shut. She was looking at him steadily, and he could read her well enough to know that she had made the decision based on tactics, not any personal feelings.

He nodded in response to her order. Then, making sure that the other two weren't looking at him (they weren't, they were completely focused on Shepard. Of course.) he gave her a smoldering look and a slow smile. He was thrilled with her blush and quick wink, and sauntered off towards the shuttle in much better spirits.

The rest of the Mars mission had been enough to put all the doubts out of his head. As the woefully understaffed Normandy rushed Alenko to the Citadel, Vega occupied himself with his work - not to mention the extra work of helping Cortez repair the shuttle. He didn't mind the work, but the extra shifts left him very little time to himself, and no time at all to make good on the silent promise they'd exchanged.

Which was how they found themselves headed to Palaven without Vega ever having seen the inside of the Commander's cabin. On Palaven, they found another of Shepard's old teammates. She greeted him with a bright smile and evident relief; her eyes lit up at his assertion that it would be 'just like old times.'

Vega watched the turian closely. Surely she wasn't interested in the plated alien? He would have shrugged it off, if he hadn't heard the Primarch's comment. So, Garrus spoke highly of her, did he? Vega started paying attention to how often Shepard visited the main battery, and decided that she was there more than strictly necessary.

He was reassured by the fact that Shepard simply assumed he'd be rooming with her in her quarters, and had placed his gear accordingly. He enjoyed the precious time they spent alone in that peaceful room; his patience in regards to the men on the ship was amply rewarded with each genuine smile she shared with him, each touch, each sigh that meant the burden she bore was lightened by the time they spent together.

And so it continued. They went back to the Citadel to check on Alenko and found yet another old teammate. At least this one wouldn't be joining them, though his intense focus and the way his rough voice drew out the syllables of his pet name for Shepard set James' blood to boiling.

A simple rescue op to get some scientists turned into yet another reunion. Jacob Taylor was the first person to actually make James feel insecure in his relationship with Shepard. The man was competent, cool under fire, oozed self confidence, and had a muscular body to go along with it. When he saved Shepard, and chimed the now-expected phrase, 'Just like old times!' James stomped forward to ride with Cortez.

When they reached Eden Prime, and even the 50,000 year old prothean seemed to be hitting on her, Vega started wondering if he was losing his mind. For a grumpy alien avatar of vengeance, Javik was surprisingly interested in talking with Shepard. When talking wasn't effective enough, the disdainful warrior who spent 90% of his time washing his hands to cleanse them of the intruding thoughts of his shipmates readily touched Shepard to communicate in his own fashion.

For her part, Shepard found their exchanges fascinating, and was willing to talk endlessly about Javik's latest revelations about prothean society. She seemed utterly oblivious to the fact that Javik had no interest in speaking with anyone else - and had, in fact, sent Liara away from his quarters nearly in tears on more than one occasion.

He'd tried to point it out to her, the difference between the way Javik treated her and everyone else. She shrugged and said it was probably because she was the commanding officer, and that he'd agreed to follow her.

When Vega mentioned Vakarian's obvious interest in her, she waved the comment off with laugh, telling him that Vakarian had been with her the longest, and they were comfortable with each other.

Not one to give up, James brought up Alenko. Shepard rolled her eyes, gave an exasperated sigh, and said, "ignore him."

Feeling a bit like he was in some sort of alternate reality, he asked her about the drell. 'Don't be silly,' she told him, 'Thane is still mourning his wife.'

Clearly one of them was crazy; but how could he possibly think it was her? This was the woman who had cured the genophage and made peace between the krogan and turians. She couldn't really be completely oblivious to the attention from her male teammates, could she?

Since the only other option was to believe that she was deliberately toying with the emotions of everyone involved, he had to believe she was simply that clueless. Based on this conclusion, James determined to ignore the other men. This proved to be incredibly difficult.

No one knew he and Shepard were in a relationship. Keeping things quiet wasn't anything they'd talked about, or decided on deliberately. It was simply that they were both Alliance soldiers, and old habits died hard. They had both been through basic where "no fraternization" had been drilled into them. They had both served on ships and in teams where others had broken that rule, with disastrous results. Being subtle and discreet was simply something they _did_, without really thinking about it.

But that meant that all the other men onboard thought she was available. She would have easily been able to stop the flirting and gently quiet the hopes of everyone on board - if she'd been aware of it. As things were, she ignored them, they kept trying, and James got more and more frustrated.

….

When the Normandy was called to the Citadel for dry dock repairs and upgrades, and the crew ordered to take shore leave, Vega had high hopes for how he and Shepard could spend their time. When she showed him the apartment Admiral Anderson had given her, those hopes were only increased. When she told him about her intention to invite everyone to some big party, he was annoyed at first. But then, he started thinking about it. This might be just what he needed.

Shepard certainly knew how to throw a party. Of course, they were a very forgiving bunch - all she'd had to do was invite them, and provide plenty of beverages, and pretty much everyone was happy. They all wandered around her enormous apartment, chatting and joking and drinking. Vega's patience was sorely tried, since everyone wanted to flirt with Shepard, and with the alcohol lowering their inhibitions they were even bolder than normal.

Before everyone was too far gone, Shepard herded them all to the sofa, and insisted that Glyph take a picture of them all. James made sure to sit next to Shepard, throwing an arm over her shoulders and earning himself a smile as the picture was taken. Before anyone could move, he shouted to Glyph.

"One more, just in case someone blinked!"

The drone obligingly counted to "three" before snapping the picture; at the last second, James pulled Shepard to him and kissed her soundly. He nearly grinned at the dead silence that surrounded them. When Shepard pulled back, she was giving him the sultry smile he loved.

"Why Mr. Vega, I had no idea you had a different sort of party in mind." She was laughing at him, and he smiled back easily.

"That's 'cause you didn't ask, Lola. Now that you mention it, though, I certainly did have some… ideas."

She blushed slightly, and stood up, grabbing his hand to bring him to his feet as well. Her eyes were locked on his; their friends tried to drift casually away and look as if they weren't listening.

"Well, it is getting late; maybe we should retire and discuss your ideas. Glyph can handle the rest of the party. No one will miss me much."

He almost snorted at that last assertion, but managed to reply evenly, "Sounds like a plan, Lola."

As the rest of the Normandy crew, past and present, pretended to look at something - anything - except Commander Shepard and Lieutenant Vega making their way towards the stairs. They heard Vega's low voice, and Shepard's delighted laugh in reply; then a resounding _smack_, followed by a surprisingly feminine squeal, and rapid footsteps mounting the stairs.

An awkward silence fell over them, everyone wondering _how_, and _how long_, and _how didn't I __**know**_?

The silence was broken by Grunt's incredulous voice.

"Did he just _hit_ Shepard?"

Wrex was the only one who seemed interested in answering him.

"It's about time someone claimed her. Boy's got a quad on him. Now, about those drinks…"


End file.
